What If the Pattern Isn’t the Problem?

Lately I’ve been thinking about patterns.

Not in a dramatic way.

Not in a “burn it all down” way.

Just in a quiet, curious way.

What if the pattern isn’t something happening to us…

but something we’re ready to understand?

What if attraction isn’t random?

What if the same type of almost-connection shows up because our system recognizes something familiar?

And what if familiarity isn’t the same thing as peace?

I recently finished reading Thinking in Systems, and it made me realize something simple but powerful:

Systems don’t change because we wish them to.

They change when we adjust the leverage points.

So I started asking myself better questions.

What earns my emotional investment?

Do I respond to consistency, or potential?

Do I build futures in my mind before behavior proves stability?

What actually feels peaceful in my body?

And the most important one:

If someone chose me clearly, what would change about my life?

The answer surprised me.

Nothing.

I already have peace.

I already have work I love.

I already have a home I’m building with intention.

I already have rhythm.

So maybe the goal isn’t to be chosen.

Maybe the goal is to stay steady until someone shows up who moves at the same pace.

What if we delayed emotional investment until behavior is consistent?

Not cold.

Not guarded.

Just measured.

What if peace isn’t boring — it’s just unfamiliar?

To Crumb has always been about building something that lasts.

Flavor that’s layered.

Processes that are thoughtful.

Ingredients that are intentional.

Maybe relationships are the same.

Maybe we don’t need spectacle.

Maybe we need steady.

What pattern are you noticing in your life right now?

And what small adjustment could shift it?